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Steve Soto over at The Left Coaster gives us an update on "Texasgate" -- the abortive attempt by Tom Delay and his local henchmen to use the federal Homeland Security Department to track down a Democratic legislator and his plane.

You probably know the story already, but here's the short form for those of you who don't:

To foil a rigged redistricting plan cooked up by Delay, the Democrats in the Texas state House went over the hill, AWOL -- vanishing into the thin air in order to deny the GOP a quorum.

The Republicans reacted like the sadistic chain gang captain in Cool Hand Luke, sending their bloodhounds out to track down the missing reps and haul them back to Austin, so they could be arrested, gagged and strapped into their seats for the big vote. Just think of it as democracy, Texas style:

Guard: What's your dirt doin' in Boss Delay's hole, boy?
Democrat: (exhausted) I got my mind right, boss!

But the Texas Democrats -- not as good looking as Cool Hand Luke but almost as clever (they have to be to stay alive down there) -- evaded the GOP dragnet by stepping into neighboring Oklahoma and New Mexico.

Any place is better than Texas, I suppose.

Delay's yesmen called up the Democratic governors of those states and demanded that they -- in effect -- extradite the fugitives back to Austin. And then the yesmen waited while the governor of New Mexico and the governor of Oklahoma had themselves a good laugh. And waited some more.

Then the Delay gang remembered there's another, much more powerful government in Washington D.C. run by a Texas Republican (well, a Texas-Connecticut Republican, anyway.) So they called up the Homeland Security Department and ordered it to locate the "missing" plane of state Rep. Pete Laney:

"From all indications, this request . . . was an urgent plea for assistance from a law enforcement agency trying to locate a missing, lost, or possibly crashed aircraft," according to a statement issued by the agency.

I guess it depends on your definition of "possibly."

This was a little much for even the national Democratic Party to swallow -- which is saying a lot. So Joe Lieberman detached himself from his fundraising duties long enough to complain to Homeland czar Tom Ridge.

Ridge could have easily swept the whole thing under the rug. Hell, the New York Times probably would have held a corner up for him:

New York Times editor #1: Hmmm . . let's put Jayson Blair on that story.
New York Times editor #2: Who'll cover the Iraqi WMD search then?

But Ridge vowed to launch an immediate, thorough internal investigation -- and then sweep the whole thing under the rug. He gave the job to one Clark Kent Ervin, the department's acting inspector general.

"Acting" is the key word here -- as in "acting the part." Because Ervin, it turns out, is actually the guy who played the evil chain gang captain in Cool Hand Luke!

Just kidding. That was the great character actor Strother Martin.

But the reality is almost as goofy. It turns out Ervin is a former GOP congressional candidate from, guess where, Houston, Texas -- Tom Delay's home town! Small world, ain't it?

Too small, apparently. Word of Mr. Ervin's, um, special, qualifications quickly leaked out. So yesterday he recused himself from the investigation. His assistant, one Lisa Redman, will have to probe the Delay Gang's little caper. Redman insists she's just a little ol' GS-whatever career civil servant:

In a brief telephone interview, Ms. Redman said . . . she had no political affiliations. "None whatsoever," she said.

Which may be true, for all I know. And I'm sure Mr. Ervin -- her politically appointed boss at Homeland Security -- will have absolutely no influence over her investigation:

Ervin: Coffee me, Lisa.
Redman: But sir, I've got witnesses to interview . . .
Ervin: Don't forget the sugar, Lisa.

As usual, the press is ignoring the real scandal here, which isn't the Texas GOP clown posse, but rather the question: How did a political hack from Houston -- a hankerchief in Tom Delay's breast pocket -- get to be "acting" Inspector General of the federal government's creepiest agency?

You may recall that when President Bush finally endorsed the creation of a Homeland Security Department last year, he demanded the "management flexibility" to gut civil service and collective bargaining protections at the new agency. And he got most, if not all, that he wanted from an even more flexible Congress (What position would you like me in, dear? Ankles behind my head? No problem.)

There were many who warned that this was opening the door to serious political and civil rights abuses. They were dismissed, naturally enough, as cranks, malcontents and union featherbedders -- people too muddle headed to see that a vast domestic spy agency with ill-defined powers would never be abused by the wise and virtuous men who rule our great republic.

Truth is, Bush and Delay probably didn't need permission from Congress to convert the Homeland Security Department into the intelligence wing of the Texas Republican Party. They could have done it on the sly, although it might have taken longer.

There used to be something called a civil service system -- with civil service rules -- to keep this kind of hanky panky out of the departments. The rules didn't always work (see Nixon, Richard M.) but they at least threw some road blocks in the way of wannabe police state oligarchs.

But the system has been falling apart for decades. Efforts to police the line between the career employees and the political appointees who float in with each administration pretty much went by the boards in the Reagan and Bush I years. And while there was a time when most administrations would at least try to find qualified candidates for sensitive appointive posts -- like those involving police powers -- that tradition also has gradually passed away.

The Clinton Administration certainly tried to take advantage of the civil service breakdown (they would have been fools not to). But they had to deal with a Republican Congress. My impression is that with all three branches of the federal goverment now in GOP hands, the patronage game is quickly getting completely out of control.

So we're back to the spoils system -- and we all know who gets those. The GOP has a brand new internal security behemoth to go with the military behemoth on the other side of the Potomac, which is also rapidly being Republicanized. An authoritarian matched set, as it were.

As for the Texas clown posse? The least of our problems. I'd be a little more worried about the chain gang captain. He thinks that what we have in this country is a "failure to communicate." And if you've ever seen Cool Hand Luke, you know what that means . . .